Blog

Every now and then, I am cruising down the road called life and encounter a sign - Slow Down. Of course, I don't always follow the sign, thinking it as more of a suggestion rather than a necessity. And - BAM! Life reminds me that I should have listened. I should have followed directions. After my recent bicycle accident, I don't need a roadside sign. My body tells me, more like screams at me. It's frustrating to go from 100 miles an hour, figuratively, to suddenly being slower than a turtle in molasses. Each time that frustration dwells up inside, I squash with it the immense gratitude I feel from every bone in my body - including the broken ones. It's unfortunate that a few broken bones needed to remind me to slow down. However, my mother always said I was a little hard headed.

Over the weekend, someone shared with me his thoughts about my work - I like it, but I don't get it. I often hear that. The hardest part of art is letting go of "understanding". It requires a person to open up one's mind, open up one's heart, which is always difficult to do. It makes us vulnerable. It reveals our inner selves, the side that we never show anyone. I firmly believe that art is not meant to be understood; it's meant to be felt. The most powerful pieces of art make an emotional connection with the viewer. Without that emotional connection, the work is "confusing". It doesn't "make sense". And that's okay. It's okay to not connect with every piece of work ever created. It's okay to look at a work and not have a reaction. Just as long as, eventually, one is able to open up one's heart and feel. Without feelings, we lose our humanness and our ability to connect with others.

Originally my siblings series was inspired on the friendship that was starting to form between my son and our potential adopted child. As I watched the two play, I could see that the two could be more than just roommates or two people who lived in the same house. Due to some unfortunate events, the adoption never came to fruition. Even though my son will never have his own sibling, he has found that same type of relationship in others. He has found others who will treat him like a brother. These relationships he is building have been difficult at times, but through the thick and thin, he and his new "siblings" have maintained a strong friendship and a unique bond.

In my latest piece, I ventured the depths of motherhood from a child's perspective. As a child, I never quite understood how a parent could love equally. How could there be more love with more kids? My dad said it the best, We don't love a child any more or less than another child; we love you differently. As a parent now, I understand what that means. Each child has their own personality, their own interests. There's no possible way each child could be loved the "same" or the same amount. So, together with my siblings we belong to one mother. We share a special friendship to that one mother. We share a special bond with that one mother, which in turn creates a special bond between us.

Many times I feel like I am a clown juggling multiple things. There is so much going on between family life, our household finances, my school life, and of course my painting. This is where the importance of a positive support system is essential. In my latest piece, Siblings... Support System, I reflect on siblings can be each other's shoulder to lean on. Many times without even knowing it! Their gentle spirits lean against each other, holding each other up, just by being there. It is there, with support system in place, can we find balance as we juggle the craziness we call life.

The series I am working on is different to say the least. The inspiration of this series came when I began to think about what my son's relationship might like with our adopted child. To our dismay, the adoption never went through. At the same time, I still carry with me what could have been. What would it have been like? Would they have been friends or more like "frenemies"? I simplified the forms even more than usual to focus on the color and the emotion of the sibling bond - the good, bad, and not so great. Starting this series has been a challenge, but a welcomed challenge. It is a like a breath of fresh air.

As with any career, there are times when we take a break from our work for whatever reason - family, a new opportunity, or even much needed rest. When the break is over, for me at least, the anxiety begins. Will I have anything worthwhile to paint? Will I have forgotten how to paint? What if I run out of ideas? Some thoughts are legitimate; others are completely irrational. However, making the first mark on the canvas eliminates all question. The anxiety subsides, and one can simply create. Today is the day I will make that first mark. The goal is to create "something" before the sun sets!